A dream is a wish your heart makes. My dream was about you, so I’m hoping the wish my heart made will come true. The wish of me and you.

I’ve let go of him. I didn’t think I could, but you made it happen, when you appeared before my eyes. Too bad, you’re unaware of what’s happening. The cycling inside my heart.

“How have you been?
The last time I saw you, we both worked at SunO.
I can’t believe it’s been a few months since then.
—-
I’ve been okay, nothing much has change.
Still doing the same ol’ thing.
—-
Oh, may I take a little bit of your time?
—-
No, I don’t think that would be possible.
—-
Why, do you have a boyfriend?
—-
No, still waiting on someone special.
—-
If you don’t mind,
I’d like to get your number
And maybe reminise together,
Is that alright?
—-
I don’t mind.
Would like to get together.
In fact, tonight I’d rather
Go back in time.
—-
Now here we are.
Tell me everything about you,
Where you go, the things that you do
The things you like, whatever’s on your mind.
—-
I just started a fund
Been saving up some money,
Still not your ordinary girl.
—-
I’ve always have had a little crush on you.
—-
I can’t believe you felt way too.
—-
And after all this time, I still think I do.
Girl, I’m glad you came tonight.
—-
What made you think I’d decline?
—-
I haven’t seen you awhile,
Still have that pretty smile.
—-
I see you still haven’t changed,
Still have your flirty ways.
—-
Well, I can’t help it with you.
You make me wanna go back in time.”

I just realized… things are changing before my eyes. I just opened my eyes to see my life and noticed things are different. I used to be the favorite, they used to be my favorites, my best buddies that I did everything with, and that place used to be my home, but not anymore. New people are coming in, that I don’t even know, old feelings and friendships are changing. Not a word or a “hello”, or even a “how are you”. Nothing. But I shouldn’t complain. The world doesn’t revolve around me. I just need to make room for changes because like my brother says, “People come and people go. Your friends may stay, but they might also leave. That’s the difference between friends and family because family will always be right next to you”.

My Advanced Composition teacher gave us all an assignment. She told us to print out lyrics to a song and write a paper on how that song lyrics relates to us. I chose Mr. Invisible by A.M. Kidd. I wrote about how the song places him back to when he was in high school. He didn’t have any friends and not a single person bothered to look his way or even say “hello”. I spilled my heart into my pages, because I was exactly like that. From Middle school to my Junior year in high school, I sat with only one other person. And when that person wasn’t there, I would be alone. Not a single person said “hello” to me or even smiled at me.

A.M. Kidd said he didn’t care that he was alone because he had his music to comfort him. That was exactly what I did to shield myself from my insecurities and the thoughts of others laughing at me. I have to admit, my self-esteem and confidence weren’t much and they still aren’t. Everything good that happens to me or comes into my life makes me wonder if it is a joke.

Growing up, A.M. Kidd wasn’t rich. He talked about how he had the same pair of clothes everyday. Even though I wasn’t in the same boat he was completely, I know how it feels. My family wasn’t and isn’t rich either. My 11th grade American Lit. teacher once said, “You are either rich or poor. There is no middle class because if you are middle class, you will be working hard your whole life to be rich, to have enough money, so you might as well be considered poor”. That teacher was the smartest man I have ever gotten to know. With what he said, my family was considered poor, so I knew how A.M. Kidd felt. We both “never had nice kicks or the brand name”.

Although my paper wasn’t as descriptive as my teacher wanted it to be, she gave me a 100. Why? Because she said she could relate to this because she was also that person in high school.

Although he is nice to look at, although he is Superman, he has so much growing up to do and so much to learn. I’ve learned that I shouldn’t lower my standards for anyone because if that person sees me in his eyes, then he will work up to my standards, being the best he can be for me. Besides, I enjoy being available. I enjoy living and loving my life without having to think about my other half.

I was feeling not like myself. I felt like I had no road or direction to follow, like I was lost in the forest somewhere. (And might I say I have no natural instinct whatsoever! I went jogging along the trails next to my school and got lost for about 3 hours. I ended up maybe 3ish miles away from my school.)

Anyways, I was getting depressed out of no where. And if you know me, you know I’m a happy, fun kind of person, but like I said I wasn’t feeling like myself. I told my friend and she suggested I should go to Youth Group with her. At first, I wasn’t sure. I thought I would feel out of place, but to my surprise, I fit in just right!

It was an amazing experience.The people there were so nice and friendly, just like myself. Not only that, but the discussion we had about Lies and Truth made me feel…. feel different. I realized that I could relate to everything that they were talking about. Things that were in the Bible, and things that were their own. I always felt that I had a natural tie to Christianity, but today, finally, proved it. 

All I have to say is “Expect the Unexpected”. My friend and I basically found out who Superman was today. Turns out, it was the new guy who sits right next to me at lunch. Don’t get me wrong or anything, he’s my friend and just some guy I have a little-girl crush on, but I feel like he’s a total extraordinary person. It shows that people are not what they seem to be.